Most parents find the teenage to be most difficult. Teens are aggressive and rebellious. They have a lot of questions in mind and this is the time when they are trying to figure everything out. They are eager to explore everything. They don’t get why their parents are stopping them from certain things and most of the time they think they know more than them. Well, that is what teen life is.
Parents often find it difficult to talk to their kids. A simple conversation turns into a hot argument within seconds and results in teens storming out of the room. It is stressful for both the kids and the parents. It is usually this age that creates trust issues and life-long grudges, damaging the relationship forever.
Where parents go wrong”
Before we move on to how to handle those strong headed teens, let’s take a look at what are the things that trigger issues. If you start a sentence with “I know what you should do”, know that you will lose them right there. They probably won’t even listen to you after that. Statements like “Do what I say” or “You don’t know that” make them angry and their rebel comes out.
All parents want to do is save their kids from the dangers they can foresee, but the kids cannot. Sometimes they are right about it, sometimes they are a little paranoid. Nonetheless, they want the best for their kids. However, teens want to understand things at their own pace. Kids are more sensitive to how parents talk to them than what they talk about. If the tone you use with them is authoritative and definitive, the chances of them listening to you become grim. Most of the time they feel that their parents are not listening to them and just barging in with their own opinions.
Also Read: Teen Tantrums: How to Tackle Raging Teens
How to do it right:
You would say that you do listen. But the next time you are having a conversation with your kids, pay close attention to how much you interrupt them during it. How many times you present an opinion or a suggestion before they are done talking. Practice listening with patience and let them finish whatever they have to say.
Check your tone
Before saying anything, think how you are saying it. Is it accusatory, judgmental, blaming or are you asking too much from them? Strike a tone that is friendly and compensating. Give them respect and ask with care like how do you feel about this? Are you having any trouble? Do you need any help? When offering advice you can use words like let me help you or can I offer you some advice? Sympathize and make them comfortable enough to feel what they are feeling.
If you want to have an important conversation, prepare it beforehand. What questions you are going to ask? How will you ask them? How can they react and how can you avoid getting on their bad side?
Since this is the tech age, you can use parental controls like FamilyTime to get more involved. FamilyTime is not a spy app so you won’t be validating their trust. Remember that parental controls give you a passive access to your kid’s digital lives. By observing their social, online and texting behaviors, you can understand their personalities better. It can also give you a basis to talk to them about any problems. You don’t have to ask them every little thing, instead, you can easily observe from the background and prevent any dangers by initiating a talk.
The most important thing about conversing with teens is to be attentive, supportive, and approachable. Your babies might be growing up but they still need you. All you have to do is change the way you talk to them. So the next time you want to talk to your kids just keep these tips in mind!