Well, we all expect our children to do good, decent, things. And we all expect our children to get high grades. Don’t we? And who said that’s wrong.
But what about the standards of decency, good acts, and high grades that we have drawn so tight that anything beyond them brings us disappointment. And, we are no longer happy with our children. Right? That is where you go wrong.
When a child thinks talking to friends loudly and laughing with them at a party where you are present is normal you think that would make your child look like a non-serious goon. And, when it is okay to get passing marks to get enrolled in the next grade but you think nothing below ‘A’ grade is acceptable. This is where the difference between high and over-high expectations lies and you should be careful about it.
Here is what you as a parent should care about your child.
Respect Children’s Individuality
To make your kids realize their self-worth and make them confident about their own decisions, you have to respect the way they see the world. We all make the mistake of instilling our ideas into the minds of our kids. We make them see the world through our eyes. By doing this, we make them lose their identity.
Instead of that, start giving your child’s passion and idea the worth they deserve. Let them choose their path and guide them all along the way because that role of you should stay intact. Let them develop their personality.
Make Them Comfortable Around You
Don’t tell your kid to act this way or that way all the time. Criticizing them over their small acts or the way they behave does two things
- It makes them under-confident about themselves
- It makes them uncomfortable around you
This way they would either avoid expressing themselves around you or start developing doubts about themselves. Both situations are of no benefit for the healthy growth of your child. Instead, they are detrimental.
It is parents’ responsibility to tell kids that they are amazing with their ways. You can guide them about some unbearable acts that are very likely to be developed, considering the age and societal implications. But telling them not to express themselves, not to cry, not to laugh loudly, not to eat that way and things like these are not healthy.
Also, to make your kids comfortable around you, you can change the way of talking by correcting them. For example, instead of saying
‘Don’t spoil the walls with your drawing’.
‘Hey, you can draw beautifully, let’s draw on paper.
Believe me, these small things can make a huge difference between you and your child’s bond and they will start feeling better around you.
Don’t Put Unreasonable Pressure on Your Kids
Never set unrealistic standards of achievement for your kids. You want to see them happy with average grades rather than stressed with high grades.
So, let them perform with ease, comfort, and the belief that whatever they are performing, it is not coming from any pressure.
Looks so ideal? Believe me, it is not. Average scoring people are seen to be performing high in professional fields. No, we are not talking about Bill Gates, it is about the majority of cases.
Let Your Kids Follow Their Passion
Give your children enough space that they develop their identity, interests, and passion. This is much better than feeding them with the idea that they have to become an engineer or a successful doctor.
They can perform much better following their interests instead of doing what you expect.
Break the ‘hero’ standards
Your children never came into this world to endorse the already existing ideas of being great. Never expect that they should perform excellently in anything they do.
No, they can be ordinary. Read again, they can be ordinary, and being ordinary should be normalized. The thing that matters the most is they are living happily following their desires. Only this can strengthen your relationship with them.
Having said all that, it is necessary to mention that you have to look after and take care of your young one’s activities. He points they are experiencing exploitative, or manipulative things in life and it never takes long to monitor them. Your responsibility as an instructor and guide is still there. You can try FamilyTime App to look for better, flexible, and smart ways of parenting. Also, you can take their three-days free trial by making an account now. You can enjoy and check all the premium features during this three-days period. Keep innovating your parenting!