Hovering too much? This is what we discussed in our previous blog. We discussed some classic symptoms of a helicopter parent and talked about how it can affect tweens and teens. But in this post, we will talk about how you can avoid being a helipad or a helicopter parent.
Take a Fresh Start
Take a deep breath and take a fresh start. They say that diagnosis is half the cure and it’s pretty good if you know where you’re doing it wrong; you can certainly make it right! So here are some points to start from.
Open up and share
It all starts with you. Talk it out to your friends and acquaintances. Share your anxiety and fears with them. It works wonders and you’d feel more relaxed and less tensed. If your friends or colleagues have kids, too; they will understand better and sharing parenting experiences will naturally place you in a better position to judge and alter your own parenting style.
Try little exercises with kids
Now you need to connect with your kids. Engaging them in little social exercises will better equip them to deal with the people and make them moiré confident in their skin. Ask your kids to:
- Answer calls from relatives
- Refuse a family commitment politely
- Do grocery and appreciate what they buy
- Handle a tricky situation
- Make reservations, book tickets and make telephonic inquiries
These exercises will not only make your child more confident and at ease handling social situations but will also give you the assurance that they can deal with issues effectively. So it’s a win-win situation!
Give them space
Now this is a rather tough thing to do but you need to respect your child’s privacy and refrain yourself from:
- Answering calls on their phone
- Barging into their rooms without knocking
- Reading their personal diaries
- Commenting on their shared posts on Facebook
- Calling them every 30 minutes when they go a date
Don’t leave all your ground
But hey! That doesn’t mean that you should give up all your control and let them have it their way all the time. Give them space but they need to know that you would be there watching them. You don’t have to hover over them, but you need to stay in the know.
A good measure can be to be in touch with them and stay in the loop. Make them understand that it’s your right and duty to stay posted as to where they go and what they do. Controlling them and being in the loop are two different things. Make them share stuff with you more openly and don’t be judgmental.
Create a healthy balance
Your children need to feel that they are accountable to you and they better should have a good justification for their activities. Adopt smart parental controls where your kids know that they are being monitored and don’t just hide it from them. You don’t want them to think you don’t trust them, but they need to know that you’re there watching them lovingly!