Are You a Helicopter Parent? Part I
Okay, let’s face it: we all deem ourselves to be the perfect parents! And we all feel our pulse escalating at the slightest mention of our parenting flaws or shortcomings. But times are changing and so are the teens. If you believe you should be on your toes and be there with your kids all the time especially when they are using cell phones and computers then you, my friend, are a helicopter parent and it’s not something you’d like to take pride in!
Classic symptoms of a helicopter parent
So how do you know that you’re a helicopter parent? Well, to be honest, you would know that deep down in your heart. But if you can’t hear any inner voice or if you want to know how much of a helicopter parent you really are, skim through these classic symptoms of a helicopter parent:
- You want to or have already befriended your child on Facebook
- You called your child’s school or college to let them know how that your child is really capable
- You believe your child needs to be picked and dropped at football/dance practice because it’s unsafe otherwise
- You leap forward to your kids’ rescue when someone gives them a hard time without realizing it
- You feel the urge to barge in your kid’s room without knocking
- You answer calls on your child’s phone whenever you get the chance
- You want to literally grill your daughter’s new boyfriend
- You have posted your child’s resume for job
- You could go on and take this quiz to make sure if you really are a helicopter parent!
The problem with hovering
Parents are by nature protective but when we go too far with hovering over our kids all the time, we are doing them more harm than good. Kids are capable to take care of themselves and sometimes they need to learn things the hard way. As some put it, “you handicap your children by making life easy for them.” What’s the downside of hovering? It could make your child:
- Dependent and insecure
- Lie to you
- Fear unknown
- Develop low self-esteem and confidence
- Blame you for failures
It’s not your fault!
Really, it’s not your fault! You were not genetically programmed to be an ideal parent! We all make mistakes. If parenting were taught at universities, we could at least get some parenting expertise. It takes more than guts to realize that it’s finally time to change our parenting style. So take a fresh start and make mistakes. But most importantly, give your children liberty and space. They will make mistakes, but they will learn from them too!
Helicopter or not, every parent can become over-protective and there is nothing to be ashamed of. But if you get the urge of controlling your children, it’s time to make amends and make them fast. In the next part, we will discuss how you can avoid being a helicopter parent and be more open to your children. Keep reading!
