Excess of everything is bad. Be it too much leniency or be it too many rigid guidelines for children to follow in order to win the approval of their parents.
Becoming a parent does not mean one’s life has to become entirely child-centered, nor does it mean that there will be no changes taking place at all.
Looking for Balance
No matter how ironic it might sound, the truth is that one must maintain a healthy balance between becoming a parent as well as remaining an individual at the same time. Do not stop being your own person just because you had a baby, which might be something that’s easier said than done but it is what it is.
That said, another factor to be careful about is giving them too much of one side and not enough of another. For example, a child deserves an equal amount of love and respect from both their parents as well as to be gently nudged in the right direction when they have done something wrong.
How Imbalance Occurs
If in one of these instances there is too much of a particular treatment towards the child and not enough of another, then they might find themselves shook towards one extreme and not enough of another in their own behaviors. Not only behaviors but thought patterns and consequently, reactions to any instance resembling remotely what they experienced earlier.
With this in mind, it is important that where strictness is necessary, there it be done but with the ulterior motive in mind such that the child is intimidated enough to not repeat the behavior or similar behaviors again but at the same time not so much that the child becomes so scared of the parent that the friendly bond between them begins to slowly dissolve.
Now, not being strict when it comes to parenting also does not mean that there be no rules at all or ones so ridiculous that they are easily manipulable.
Parenthood brings with it, a lot of responsibilities and possibly, confusion.
With the constant need to protect your children and the subsequent urge to be a helicopter parent, followed by the awareness of the undeniable cons of helicopter parenting as well as the tendency to simply turn into a negligent parent and see what happens.
After all, everyone else turned out fine. That thought is also often followed by guilt when parents think about the cute and innocent faces of their little children who are reliant on them for everything right now.
Often, if one is an overthinker, this train of thoughts can reach a station so far-fetched in the future that might leave one teary-eyed. An overthinking parent might indulge in the contemplation of being left all alone in an old age home once they become dependent on their children for basic needs and everyday tasks.
Anyway, returning to the topic: what to do and how to maintain a fair and balanced approach to parenting? Well, first and foremost, respect their individuality so they may respect yours. Be there for them when you can but don’t stress it too much when you can’t. This is how they’ll learn to figure life out on their own sometimes.
Make a set of rules and reinforce them. For example, if there is a particular amount of time allotted for your children to spend playing online games, use parental controls to make sure they only play online games within that specified time frame. Use a parental control app like FamilyTime to reinforce those limits.
At the same time, show compassion and interest in their life. Be nice to your children. Let them know they can trust their parents to be there for them when they need it but also that any kind of disrespect or unacceptable behavior will not be tolerated at any cost